Monday, 7 July 2008

Printer rage

You’ve heard of road rage. Now there’s printer rage.

A friend of mine suffered from this problem last week, when attempting to print out posters and invites for an exhibition she is having next week. Of course, her printer went wrong at the last minute, started printing things out in the wrong colour, or not at all. So after endless spare cartridges (at great expense), she now has her trusty computer man coming round this morning to fix it. We hope.

By the way, to see some of her paintings, go to This Painting Life.

I’ve been sitting here for an hour now trying to print out my last novel to send to an agent. 330 pages needed in pristine condition, no blobs of ink, virgin white paper (top quality, not the cheap stuff from Asda that I usually use, which I use both sides of as well).

My printer has acquired an unpleasant habit of printing one page, under sufferance. It then decides the weather is too autumnal, that the damp has seeped into its joints, that it has arthritis. So it spits the next page out. And possibly the next page after that. And then three pages get stuck and the red light comes on.

My blood pressure is rising by the moment and the language is enough to make Himself wince. I’ve just been next door where he’s checking his emails and he looked at me furtively, as if expecting me to shout and hit him.

I did shout but I didn’t hit him. I took several LARGE BREATHS and now I am back here writing down my angst. I will then feel better, and able to tackle the next 300 pages.

And in half an hour I shall go and interview a lady who practices zero balancing. I’ve tried it – in the interests of research of course – and it’s like a massage but even better. The idea is that you balance the emotional energies of the body with the physical. I shall be interested to her version of it.

On the other hand - can anyone recommend a reliable printer that won't cost the earth, has cartridges that aren't too expensive and produces good quality print. Looking online is so confusing - laser or inkjet? I don't need colour by the way.
Any advice gratefully received.

25 comments:

rosiero said...

Don't ask me, mine is temperamental too. And the cartridges require a mortgage to keep them in replacement heaven.

Flowerpot said...

rosiero - i know nowadays printers are cheap but the cartridges are horrendous!

Debs said...

I know exactly what you mean and am dreading having to print out my novel sometime this week on my ancient printer.

I desperately need a new one but find the choice so confusing and end up sticking with my heap of rubbish.

Flowerpot said...

debs - I have someone looking into it for me so will let you know what they suggest. Good luck with printing it out!

Lindsay said...

I have an Epson inkjet C64, it is now about 5 years old and has never gone wrong apart from paper jamming.

Rebecca Taunton said...

Oh dear, technology can really pick its moments to pack up on you!

For the work you do...probably laser is going to be the best quality print, although initially quite expensive to buy. We also use an Epson for our letters which is pretty good quality. In the mean time, I could always print anything urgent for you here, if you are still having problems.

JJ said...

Oh Flowerpot, can you do some zero balancing to help with the stress of the printer? I hate computers and their paraphernalia when they misbehave ... and don't get me started on the price of the ink cartridge.

Philipa said...

Hi FP, 300 pages!! Crikey you're amazing! Well ok you're a professional writer but still, it's an achievement so well done. I remember finishing my final year project in my first degree and felt like I'd given birth (how wrong I was when I felt the real thing but you know what I mean). As for a printer; my £25 Lexmark all-in-one from Argos has been great ( see here ) and there's one for less than 20 quid. for that price you can throw the printer away and buy another one complete with inks.

Can't say I'm a fan of the paintings - I like art but all the verticals are off in those, it looks like they've been painted from badly taken photographs. Seems like a great life though - to earn your living from doing something you love :)

Akelamalu said...

Have you got a local library, maybe you could save your novel on a pen and get it printed there?

Maggie May said...

I wish I could advise you but I am an absolute technophobe.
Cartridges are ridiculously expensive! Some one must be making a fat profit!

Crystal Jigsaw said...

There are a lot of printers on the market. I use a Hewlett Packard all-in-one. It does everything, print, scans, photocopies, photograph prints from cards, it's great. I wish it would learn how to make me a cuppa.

CJ xx

Flowerpot said...

lindsay - right will make a note of that, thanks.

RT - yes I thought laser would be best. I might well take you up on your offer if things dont go according to plan!

jj - I could do with a zero balancing session RIGHT NOW!!

Flowerpot said...

philipa - thanks for the info. Mty lovely computer man is looking into it for me. I hope!

Ak - good idea, though RT has offered which would make my life a lot easier!

maggie - I kow they're a terrible price. someone#s laughing though.

Crystal - thanks someone else recommended HP so will try them.

Lane said...

Hope you got it sorted out fp. Printers can be such a pain!

Flowerpot said...

lane - thanks for that. Printer has jst been ordered. huge relief!

ChrisH said...

This was me before I sent my t/s off - almost identical experience. Tom even took me to one side and asked me not to swear so much!!! Good luck with the t/s anyway.

Flowerpot said...

chrish - thanks for that. Why do these things always happen at a critical time?!

Grump said...

I've been told if you only want black and white. Laser is the way to go. Cheaper to run and they are much cheaper to buy than they used to be. I believe they are more reliable too.
Cheers Mark x

Flowerpot said...

Grump - thanks. That's exactly what I've just signed up to get. Dont know what the weather's like over with yiou but it's like midwinter here and TEEMING with rain!

Grump said...

Flowerpot we have at last some welcome rain. I walked my dog Tilly around the park this morning, in the dark, and the rain cut into my face. You know that slightly icy feel driving rain can have. Believe it or not it was beautiful to feel. We need months of rain to get us out of this drought.
I hope the Cornish weather improves. Do you still get Gift days in winter, where there is a beautiful day out of the blue. So to speak.
Woof x

Flowerpot said...

grump I'm delighted that your rain is welcome. Ours is very unwelcome, but you obviously need it. Difficult to IMAGINE drought here in raintorn Cornwall. (I hate that phrase wartorn so am getting my own back.) Perhaps we can send our rain over to yuo for a month or two. Yes we do occasionally get those sort of days - the last one was when I did an interview at Sennen. We went on to Zennor and it was so beautiful I shall remember it forever. Mind yuou, that was supposedly spring but it was still stunning. Woof woof.

Debs said...

Thanks for the comment re the new printer.

Dx

Merlin's Wizard said...

Lexmark printers are a good buy. They are cheap, very easy to use and you can get own brand compatible cartridges from the likes of curry's. i would opt for inkjet as you can use better quality paper with it, and the overall print is better. if you wish to spend a bit more then i would go for an HP Officejet 7210. you can get an extra bit for it which will allow you to print both sides of the page at the same time. you can also get compatible inks and moreover you can print, scan, copy and fax with this one machine. and if technology seems abit daunting then the software is very easy to use with both the printers i have suggested.

hope that helps

Take care
MW
xxx

Zinnia Cyclamen said...

I am so paranoid about this where funeral scripts are concerned, I always finish and print the day before the funeral just in case. I had some zero balancing once, it was lovely, I'd go for it again if I ever found anyone else who did it.

Flowerpot said...

Debs - not at all!

MW - many thanks for your helpful comments. I've in fact got a Xerox Workcentre 3119 laser printer which I'm very pleased with. And it wasnt expensive!

Zinnia - there is a list of ZB practitioners if you go to the ZB Association website. I agree - it's wonderful.