Wednesday, 19 May 2010

The Resident Thug


(Margaret Millar has rightly said that Bussie doesn't look much like a thug here. I would point out that he's in disguise. See end of post.)

Yesterday I was talking to my editor about cats. We were comparing notes on how our respective felines wake us up. Hers, being female, is of course much better behaved than Buster, who jumps on my pillow, stanks over to Himself and prods him until he wakes up. “He sounds rather a bully,” she said.

Actually, he's a thug. I love him dearly (sometimes more than others), but that love is tried and tested every morning at around 6am. And recently, because we dared to go and see my mum for a night, he decided to take revenge and wake us up at 5am for his breakfast.

Being a light sleeper, I always hear those feather light footsteps – or paws – as they creep into the bedroom at dawn. Then Buster jumps onto my pillow, while Mollie squeaks and jumps onto the floor. Buster prowls over the bed, nudging both of us, then returns to my pillow. I ignore him. Or pretend to, but I'm wide awake by this time.

The above exercise can tends to be repeated over and over, with Bussie using the bed as a trampoline and Molls almost wetting herself with sibling rivalry. Until eventually, one of us gives in and gets up. They are fed and we all go back to sleep again – if we're lucky.

One memorable time we'd been away for a few days and were loading our belongings onto the pavement. Bussie deigned to come and say hello, then proceeded to piss on everything. I was most angry because he was pissing on my library book, a very fat biography of Margot Fonteyn.

“What are you doing?” I shrieked like a madwoman. “Margot Fonteyn was the most famous ballerina in the world. How dare you piss on her?”

He looked at me with narrowed eyes and aimed another stream of urine at my feet. At that I decided to get our stuff inside before he could ruin anything else.

Bussie would be a very good terrorist, I've decided. (What do I mean, would be? He is.) He is very good at focusing on the job in hand, has no loyalty, isn't afraid of anyone and has NO sense of humour.

Anyone want a cat?

27 comments:

Amanda said...

Ha ha, cat's - who'd have 'em! X

Lane said...

Poor Margot:-)

It's the stare that always gets me.
That laser like 'you will do as I ask' stare. Resistance is futile.

Debs said...

But he looks so cuddly in the photo.

Vermont Designs said...

Glad he is feeling better!! Just wasn't up to par when I arrived last month. Maddy slept ON me last night, after I had to strip the bed because of what she did while I was gone.....

Becky said...

LOL.. Its funny what you said about hearing their paws creeping in to the room. My two cats have different trotting sounds. My smallest cat is much heavier on her paws than the older and larger one, who we never hear entering a room. She looks very like your cat on your picture. Beautiful aren't they and such wonderful companions about the house .

Flowerpot said...

Mandy - that's what I think. At 5am. Grrrr.....

Chris Stovell said...

Just when I was beginning to think another cat might be rather nice!!

Flowerpot said...

Lane - I felt sorry for Margot too. And you're so right about That Stare. Bussie looks particularly bad tempered - but then he does anyway.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

That's a gorgeous picture. I have a cat already but would have another. Not sure how Jessica would fare however!

CJ xx

Flowerpot said...

Debs - hah! you're taken in by his disguise too!

Flowerpot said...

Shelagh - yes he's recovered his normal belligerent self!

Becky - interesting that they have different paw sounds. I agree they can be very good companions. Sometimes.

Flowerpot said...

Chris - well as I'm sure you know, some cats are very different from others!

KMN37 said...

Ha ha ha! Polly is much more patient than Bussie. But don't be fooled - we all know who really rules the roost, and it ain't us humans.

Akelamalu said...

LOL you know you wouldn't part with him!

Lo11211ganO_Kellam said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Flowerpot said...

CJ - no you never know how cats are going to behave do you?

Flowerpot said...

KMN - good to meet you though I have a strong suspicion that I know who you are! You're too right about who rules the roost. Our leader is currently glowering underneath the spare duvet in the bunks. Woe betide anyone who disturbs him...

Around My Kitchen Table said...

Ahh, that's lovely! Our beautiful old ginger cat died last year at the age of 18. He was a real character and would wake my partner up by batting him around his head with his paw! I think of him every day and miss him every day.

Flowerpot said...

Table - how lovely to see you again! I agree, cats can be wonderful. We;ll dwell on the positive, this being a lovely sunny day!

JJ Beattie said...

I love cats and miss them now when I can't have them in my life... but I have to say cats peeing indiscriminately (inside the house) make me very cross.

Flowerpot said...

JJ - I cant stand cats peeing inside the house - thankfully this was outside!

Ellee Seymour said...

He's a very cuddly thug, I could put up with him.

MarmiteToasty said...

oh he looks such a cutie :)

x

Flowerpot said...

Ellee - sadly he's not very cuddly at all. Well he was when a kitten but that didn't last long!

Flowerpot said...

Marmie - you're still here! We miss you. Hope life is treating you a bit better now.xx

Talli Roland said...

I want one! I really miss having a feline friend, even though mine used to wake me up and lick my hair all the time. Sigh.

Flowerpot said...

Talli - yes but we still love them don;t we?!