Tuesday, 22 February 2011

Uplifting News

First of all, I have some good news on the non-fiction front. I can't say what yet because I don't want to jinx anything, but it sounds promising – so keep your fingers crossed and I will update you when I can......

And moving on to the second piece of Uplifting News -

Tears take me by surprise, caused by the most innocuous of events – a piece of music, a chance comment – but I'm relieved to find that my sense of humour is still intact. Last weekend one of those free brochures fell out of the weekend papers, so I flicked through it while drinking my mug of tea.

“Repairs leaks instantly!” announced one product. Having discovered damp walls near the washing machine, I read on. Decided that for £12.99 I could get something half the price from Trago which would do the trick.

Then I looked down the page and read, “Stronger/larger erections.” I blinked. Thought scaffolding. (This was a DIY magazine, after all.) But no – this vacuum pump has “satisfied thousands of customers”. Apparently.

Now who, I wonder, would volunteer to give that information? And who would buy one of these pumps? Actually - having lived with someone with prostate cancer, I can think who - but in that instance, there are various things available on the NHS. But I digress...

It's not the sort of thing you give for Valentine's Day is it? Neither would a mother buy it for her son (I would imagine). Nor a father for his son. Etc. You can imagine the conversation - "I thought you needed a bit of help in this department, darling......" and the response that would get. So who are these supposed customers who have been satisfied?

Reading on, I learned that this product also comes supplied with an exercise programme and is available in three sizes....

When I finished crying (with laughter this time), I began to wonder who I could give one to. If you pardon the expression.

22 comments:

Alcoholic Daze (ADDY) said...

Lol. I don't think it'll be on my Christmas list! Are you SURE it wasn't to do with garden sheds?!!

Flowerpot said...

Addy - no the P word was mentioned!!!

Chris Stovell said...

Keeping everything crossed for you for good news on the non-fiction front.

Three sizes, eh?! No wonder you laughed!

Flowerpot said...

Chris - you can't imagine anyone asking for a small size can you?!

Akelamalu said...

I think anyone received one as a gift would be insulted, especially if it was labelled SMALL. LOL

Fingers crossed for the thing you can't tell us about yet. ;)

Talli Roland said...

Hahahaha! I love it! Er... not that I speak from experience, you understand.


Fingers crossed for the first bit of good news!

Flowerpot said...

Talli - of course you don't speak from experience.....!

Amanda said...

That made me laugh, FP! And congratulations on your good news on the non-fiction front! x

Chris Stovell said...

They probably relabel the small sizes with a more flattering name, Jumbo, perhaps?

Flowerpot said...

Yes, Chris but what about the smaller ones - Mini(scule)? Er - perhaps not...

Debs Carr said...

Good luck with your good news. Can't wait to hear about it.

Three sizes? Who would admit to buying the smallest size?

Flowerpot said...

Debs - no one that I can think of!

Flowerpot said...

Mandy - glad it made you laugh too!

Pat Posner said...

Now I've stopped spluttering I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Manchester Lass, Now and Then said...

Ha ha just wondering how much they are asking for this amazing piece of equipment:) Keeping my fingers and everything else crossed for you FP♥ xxx

Flowerpot said...

Manchester Lass - a mere snip (like that?!) at £12.99..... Many thanks for the crossed fingers and things!

Flowerpot said...

Ak - exactly!!

Flowerpot said...

Thanks Pat!!!

Philipa said...

Reminds me of seeing an ad for a 'neck massager' in the sunday supplement of the newspaper when we went for dinner at my boyfriends parents. Sadly a little laugh escaped and yes, they all asked why :-/

Ellee Seymour said...

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you too and look forward to hearing good news.

Flowerpot said...

Thanks Ellee!

Flowerpot said...

Phil - I bet they did!