Wednesday, 26 March 2014

Strength


A slight hiccup in the proceedings began on Friday afternoon when I started bleeding. Not badly but enough to scare me. To cut a long story short, Saturday morning saw us in the out of hours clinic in Truro where a doctor diagnosed an infection and put me on some incredibly strong antibiotics. Typically, they are ones you can’t drink alcohol with, and the day before, my lovely brother Ben had a half case of New Zealand wine (my favourite) delivered.

My dear mate Av arrived on Sunday, though, which cheered me up and gave the Lone Sailor a bit of a break, so they were able to enjoy the wine - nothing worse than me lying on my bed for a rest listening to the two of them next door clinking their glasses saying, “Cheers!” To add insult to injury, Mr B came round later so I ended up pouring him said wine and watching wistfully while I sipped my grapefruit juice…..

On that note, we were talking about Being Strong the other day. Mr B was away when I first found out about the cysts, and I was so terrified and felt incredibly alone. I thought This Is It. Ovarian cancer - no more anything.

Once I got on the NHS bandwagon, life had a momentum of its own over which I had no control and I was swept along which was fractionally less terrifying as I felt at least they knew what they were doing. But despite having fabulous friends, this is the time when you need that special someone there to hold you in the middle of the night, which was what I sorely missed.

Having mulled it over I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s how we react to circumstances that determine our level of strength. Some people perceive themselves as victims which means they relinquish control (which is terrifying - I've done it) and thereby are unwilling or unable to pick themselves up, and rely on other people. Others panic and are just as terrified, hurt and bewildered, but, having been knocked over however many times we eventually think, “**** it. I’m going to get up again and keep going.”

In my case, I felt that I just wanted to cram as much of life into the days and hours I had left. Which, now the future is looking brighter, I hope are many.

So here’s to my first glass of Ben’s delicious wine on Sunday night. To sailing again, very soon. To love, to health and to happiness. To dear friends, old and new. To music, and singing, adventures, and laughter and fun.

And to making the most of every day.

P.S. Just walked into town for a coffee - and back. It took hours - the Lone Sailor said it was like walking with his granny - and I was wiped out for the rest of the day, but I have a great sense of achievement!

26 comments:

Morton S Gray said...

Hi Flowerpot.

I have been thinking about you. I'm glad you are on the mend, but, from experience, take it slowly! It is easy to overdo it because you feel a little better and to make yourself feel worse again. Big hugs. Mx

Flowerpot said...

Wise words Morton - thank you. I will take heed!

Trubes said...

Well done for taking a walk but a bit too far, best to take shorter ones dear FP, but I do admire your
PMA...
It is awful to feel wretched after surgery but it soon passes after rest.
Best wishes,
Di.x

Jane Jazz said...

I know what it's like to feel this kind of fear, and I think you are tackling it all so bravely. Your incredibly positive attitude will help the healing process and keep your spirits lifted. Take care xx

Dc said...

Sorry to hear about your 'hiccup' and glad it wasn't/isn't anything more serious! Yes, do take it easy.

Sally said...

Well done for ealking into town! That really is some achievement! Do listen to Morton however hard it feels! Lots of love x x

Flowerpot said...

Sally - I was so tired afterwards that I had to ccrsh for the rest of the day, so not able to dance on the tables yet! Hope you get better soon though - gather you aren't well either? xxxx

ADDY said...

Thought I'd left a comment yesterday, but it obviously didn't get sent.

It takes a good three months to get back to anywhere near normal and probably six months before you truly feel on top of the world, so don't push yourself. In my case, after two weeks, I had to travel 60 miles to my father's funeral (he died the day before my hysterectomy and the funeral was held back so I could go). It was not the best thing to do and it set me back for quite while.

Listen to your body and take things easy. By the summer you'll be pulling up trees, as the Germans would say.

Lyn said...

Rarely comment, Sue, but try to keep up with your blog. Do hope you're beginning to feel better - what a year you've had so far. Don't do too much, in fact do what 'they' tell you and do keep us posted. I do enjoy your writing.

Flowerpot said...

Lyn - Thanks for that I will try not to do too much! x

Flowerpot said...

Addy - no I haven't pushed myself today but had a walk and feel fine. Thanks for advice though. Love the German saying!! x



Flowerpot said...

DC - yes I will do from now on!

Flowerpot said...

Jane - what kind words! Thank you x

Flowerpot said...

Trubes - er - PMA??!!

Rena George said...

Hi Sue, if you're missing the plonk you must be on the road to recovery. That's my theory, although maybe you shouldn't tackle quite such long walks just yet.
Seriously though, your positive outlook on life is an inspiration.
I can imagine your frustration at not yet being able to do all the things you want to, but it will come. Just think of all that lovely sailing you and the lone sailor will be doing this summer. Rx

Flowerpot said...

Rena - yes I am def on the road to recovery. Have decided to downscale the walks a bit but will do bait more every day - gently! Had a walk along the seafront with Deb yesterdaywhichnwas fine.Too many hills round Falmouth! Am longing to get sailing - not just with the lone sailor but with Al et al!!

Akelamalu said...

Good to hear you're on the mend, you're getting there. xx

Trubes said...

FP: my profound apologies re suggesting you may like to read my ABC Weds contribution, as you already have...Oopsie...A senior moment I suspect..xx

Di.xx

Flowerpot said...

Trubes - am full of senior moments! xx

Flowerpot said...

Ak - many thanks.Improving daily! x

Kim @ Him, Him Me said...

Hoping you are healing well, both in spirit and body. Take care.

Flowerpot said...

Kim - thanks so much. Getting there slowly!

Totty Teabag said...

I hope you are on the mend and the antibiotics take care of your infection....but please, please, please don't drink grapefruit juice while on them, the two can have a bad interaction. In fact, grapefruit juice has a bad effect on lots of drugs because it affects the rate that the drug is absorbed.

Colette McCormick said...

Glad to hear that you're on the mend.

Flowerpot said...

Colette - yes, thanks!

Flowerpot said...

Totty - thanks for the warning but I've finished the antibiotics now and they seem to have had the desired effect. Fingers crossed!