How not to walk the Coastal Footpath

Last week I had a commission from my editor to do a walk to coincide with a charity walk round the coastal footpath in order to raise money for a children's hospice.

It sounded simple - like the walks I do every month. I had even been sent a designated route which I checked on the map. Then I picked up a friend with another mad Jack Russell - and off we set.

Trouble was, arriving at our destination, the hospice site, which I'd been asked to include in the walk was a) on a main road, b) nowhere near a footpath and c) had no parking within a 15 minute drive. Not a good start.

We found a car park down a very steep hill, climbed up and found a public footpath that led to the site - sort of - and then had to walk back, down another very steep hills, to our starting point. Confused? So were we.

But the sun had come out by now, the dogs were having fun and by this time we were on Porthpean beach. The first 20 minutes were great - a beautiful afternoon, a long beach and the tide out, the dogs having a wonderful time - then a steep climb up steps to the top of the cliff. There we found a sign saying Coastal Footpath Closed. Follow Diversions.

So the prettiest part of the walk, along the headland, looking down onto sea the colour of the Mediterranean, and beaches to match, was not to be. After three false starts (the diversion wasn't clearly marked) we finally found ourselves walking through a housing estate.

This led to a main road, to another road, past two building sites, and finally - an hour later - to our designation. Only to find a sign saying, "Bar Closed. Please go to the pub down the road."

Finally we did get a drink and sat on the harbour with our lemonades and watched the sun twinkling on the water like sequins.

Then we made our way back up a very long steep hill back to the van. Speechless with exhaustion (walking on tarmac is so much harder than on grass). Even the dogs were tired, and hadn't had much of a run because they'd been on the lead for most of it.

The entire walk took 5 hours - 2 hours walking, plus 3 hours driving, covering 60 miles. And after all that I couldn't use it for the magazine, because who'd want to go on a 2 hour walk round a housing estate?

Ever get the feeling you should have stayed at home?