Tuesday, 19 August 2008

A Change of Plan

For all of you wanting to hear about Matthew Bourne’s latest production, I regret to say there was a change of plan.

On Friday evening Mum rang me and said, “I thought I’d better warn you, apparently you need to be very strong to see it.”

My spirits sank. I’d had the week from hell and while I had emerged finally feeling like myself again, for the past few days my entire self had been overtaken by some crazy, hormonally challenged monster. Strong was NOT how I’d been feeling.

“I read your blog and realised you were probably not feeling too good,” continued my mother. “So what do you think? Do you still want to see it?”

I sat there, torn. If you understood how much I adore Matthew Bourne’s work, this was one of the toughest decisions ever. It’s three years since the last one. He’s too busy choreographing Oliver for Cameron Mackintosh, and supervising his endless other ballets in China, the States and Japan.

On one hand there was this ballet which I’d been looking forward to for months. A one off opportunity. On the other hand, Dorian Gray is not exactly an uplifting topic. But he always brings his own humour to it.

“There must be witty bits,” I said hopefully.

“Apparently not. It’s all very dark and quite a lot of people walked out. A friend said that the end is really harrowing.” Mum paused. “I can see if anyone else would have your ticket.”

“I’ll ring you back in a few minutes.” I put down the phone and told Himself.

“You can’t be a wimp,” he said. “It’s only a ballet.” He then looked at me, evidently remembering the emotional ravages of the past week that had disturbed his sleep as well as mine. “Well, perhaps not,” he said.

I finished my cuppa and weighed it up. An incredible experience versus sanity. Sitting through two hours of what was going to be a Very Black look into someone’s tortured soul. I’d had a week of that and was desperate for a break. If I did see it, I would love the dancing – but at what cost? Would I feel hellish and weepy all weekend? Probably. And if I did, so would my poor husband and mother.

The voice of reason surfaced, so finally I said no. Mum rang back later and said she’d asked the box office to sell the tickets. She’d talked to several other people who’d seen it and decided she didn’t want to be depressed either. She’d rather spend the afternoon with us.

And so we didn’t go. Wimp I may be but at least we enjoyed the weekend – rain permitting. I think it’s important to know how far you can push yourself. Especially when hormonally challenged.

I’ve been scouring the internet for reviews of the ballet and found plenty of interviews with MB prior to the first performances, but no actual reviews. If you find any, please let me know.

18 comments:

Lane said...

You did the right thing fp. Your own state of mind comes first - every time.

I would push some sun down your way but it's gone missing here now:-)

Akelamalu said...

Oh what a shame you had to miss it, still only you know what you can cope with at the moment and there's no sense in deliberately making yourself miserable is there m'dear?

Sorry you're having it rough just now. x

Flowerpot said...

Lane - thanks for your endorsement! We did have sun for about 3 minutes - please send more soon!

Flowerpot said...

Ak - thanks for wise words. Thankfully I am feeling much better this week!

Miss Understood said...

You and me are a bit different, I think. I would have gone and wallowed in it. I'm terrible at working out what's best for emotionally when I'm in an emotional mess. Well done for taking control of the situation and making the right decision. There'll e other times, FP...

I hope you're ok. x

JJ said...

Oh Flowerpot, I am SO SO SORRY. I'm so gutted for you. I'm going to ask my friend if he's heard anything on the grapevine about the production or its reviews ... he used to be in the know ... can't give too much away. Chin up.

Flowerpot said...

MissU - well this knowledge comes hard earned! I used to be just like you and trip myself up at every available emotional opportunity. Lessons learned and all that!

Flowerpot said...

JJ - that's so kind. I'm desperate to find out more about it! But I am feeling myself again which is a huge relief! |Maybe an older, wiser FP but life's all about learning isnt it?

Zinnia Cyclamen said...

I think that was astonishingly sensible. Much more sensible than I would have been in the same situation. Well done!

Pat Posner said...

Sorry you had a bad week of it, Flowerpot, and glad you're feeling better this week.
Look after yourself, emotions really do wear you out at times.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

What a shame. I would be of the view that it's acting, not real. But you know your own head at the end of the day.

CJ xx

Flowerpot said...

Zinnia - if you'd been feeling like I had in the week it wasn't that sensible!

Pat - thanks for that. Emotions can be the worst of things can't they? and the best!

Crystal - you're right of course. But I've always had an overactive imagination that's my problem! Cant find the distinguishing line between real and fiction!

Rebecca Taunton said...

Oh, poor FP. It sounds like you had a difficult week. I do hope the weekend away helped.

We're both looking forward to meet up and going to the cinema tonight. As you know, ET's still worried she'll be made to stand up and sing along to the music! ;@)

Flowerpot said...

RT - a thing of the past now thanks! And yes I'm very much looking forward to tonight. ET needn't worry - I will be singing far too loudly for anyone else to worry about making a fool of themselves!

ChrisH said...

I'm hope you're feeling better now, Flowerpot. I understand exactly how you feel... I've just started reading James Bradley's 'The Resurrectionist' and was looking forwards to it but I think I might have to put it away for another time and read something a little more upbeat instead.

Flowerpot said...

chris - I've been re-reading a load of old favourites with happy endings! Including childhood favourites like the Little White Horse (Eliz Goudge) and Mary Wesley. Does a power of good - literary comfort food.

Annie Bright said...

I'm sure you did the right thing. There will be other opportunities to see Matthew Bourne. Something uplifting was probably more the order of the day!

Flowerpot said...

annie - you're so right!