Wednesday, 8 October 2008

A Lost Husband

We're off to Devon tomorrow for a few days - or rather, Molls and I are. Himself is dropping us at my mother's so we can have a few Girls' Days while he peruses the boat yards of Lymington, Southampton, Gosport etc. in pursuit of an ex-racing boat that he can't afford. Well, it keeps him happy and out of mischief. We hope.

Anyway, this afternoon Moll and I did one of our favourite walks and Himself had a quick half in the pub while waiting for us - and we usually meet him there. We got to the pub - no husband. I retraced my steps - no sign of him. Back to the pub. No sign. Saw the van, couldnt get in. No mobile, no money, bag in van, no keys. Swore. Appealed to Molls who grinned and wagged her tail and said, "I dunno Mum," or something similar.

We repeated the above exercise with me trying not to get increasingly frantic. Himself is not a walker, you see. He grudgingly comes on the short walk with Moll in the morning and That's It. Added to which he was off to do a job at 5pm and this was 4.15pm. I'd last seen him at 2.45.

One last time I went back asking everyone en route. By this time I was convinced he'd fallen into a ditch, broken a leg, had a heart attack - you know the kind of thing. I called an d called him, panic rising in my chest as I ran along the path, legs wobbly with fear.

And just as I asked yet another couple if they'd seen someone matching his description, there he was lolloping along the beach. I fell into his arms, weeping and swearing, "Where have you BEEN?"

As we walked back to the van he said he'd walked as far as the second field and waited for me, thought I was talking to someone, as I sometimes do. No comment.

"Anyway," he said. "Tomorrow and Friday you won't know where I am. I could be in a Laptop Club."

So That's what those dancers do......

20 comments:

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Dear heavens he sounds adorably absent minded! Hope you don't have to get his face on a milk carton when you return!

Have a great break.

Lindsay said...

I once lost Husband whilst he was on a solitary long distance walk. He did not turn up at the hotel he was expected at and next day his mobile was turned off. Had to ring the police who were marvellous. CCTV searches and helicopters along coast path. Turned out Husband had not liked to the look of hotel and gone sonewhere else and next day had taken a different route than planned because of the windy weather!

Pat Posner said...

At least you had quite an area to lose each other in. My dh and me lose each other on the market (small) and in the library (small).
Well, that isn't strictly true - it's him who loses me. I can be standing right in front of him and he says it's because he's much taller than I am, he just doesn't see me.
Confession: I'm 'known' on our market for putting four fingers in my mouth and whistling loudly. Can't do that in the library.

Hey there's a name for your van in your post: 'Lost Man'.
Have a great holiday.

Akelamalu said...

I used to say to the boys and MWM it's OK for you, you know where you are, I just get to worry! I empathise m'dear. Have a good break. x

Rebecca Taunton said...

Lol! A laptop club. Oh dear. I hope you have a great time away. We'll take good care of Bussie.

Grump said...

You need to get yourself a spare set of keys for the bonkmobile so you can always get in. Or find a place to fix some to the chassis. Have a great trip and try not to loose him again. As Oscar Wilde said. 'To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.'
To loose a husband once etc.
Woof x

Elaine said...

I'm so glad you managed to find him :)

A laptop club, eh? I reckon that could take off!

Zinnia Cyclamen said...

Hahahaha laptop club hahahaha *mental image of speccy nerds drooling over sleek black computers* hahahaha

Lane said...

lol at Laptop Club!

Glad you found him and have a good break fp:-)

MarmiteToasty said...

You even had me worried there for a moment LOL... bloody blokes..... Gosport is just across the harbour from me and is where the hospital where I had me knee ops....

He needs to go to Beaulieu when it has its BOAT JUMBLE weekends......

x

Fiona said...

A laptop club. How cool is that? I love the idea of tapping quietly away with a group of other writers. Would someone bring us coffee or wine?

Flowerpot said...

just checking in here quickly - MOB - he is selectively absent minded I would say!

Lindsay - I would have been hyperventilating - you poor thing!

Pat - am most impressed by your whistling abilities - I've always longed to be able to do that.

AK - I quite agree! We worry ourselves senseless and they don't think!

Flowerpot said...

RT - thought you might like that one! Give Bussie a cuddle from us.

Grump - I've gtot a pair of keys but they were inside the van - not good planning!


elaine - yes I can foresee a great fjuture ahead!

Flowerpot said...

Zinnia - yes it conjures up great images doesn't it?

lane - thanks. I'm sitting in the sun writing this - oh joys!


Marmie - how is your knee now or dont I ask? He's been to some of the boat jumbles at Beaulieu. The looking is just for fun really b- until nwe win the lottery of course....

Fiona - great idea. But laptops give mebackache nI've just discovered. I'd rather hae wine but I can';t type after a glassful!!

Ellee Seymour said...

I hope you had a lovely break, and I'm sure Himself behaved himself.

Flowerpot said...

ellee - he did to my surprise!

wordtryst said...

Sounds a lot like my brother - don't let him loose around anything nautical!

Trubes said...

Hello Flowerpot, I know you were worried but i couldn't help but laugh!
I once lost my husband in Southport which is about 30 miles from where we live. I returned to the car park and couldn't find him or the car. Apparently he waited a while for me and then decided to motor around to look for me. I jumped on a bus marked liverpool and made my way home...When I got there he still hadn't arrived and had been phoning home frantically. When he did he was quite 'put out' that I'd got home before him.
If the silly sod had waited in the car instead of driving around we would have eventually met up ......men !
I must confess, initially, we'd had a few words and I had stormed off, Tch tch!
However all was forgiven and forgotten...I must say I did feel rather guilty for abandoning him in the first place.

Di.

Flowerpot said...

wordtryst - men and boats - what is it?

trubes - good to see you. It's awful losing people isn tit? And I always shout at them in relief when they finally reappear!

Trubes said...

P.S. Flowepot; I liked your husband's quip about going to the Lap Top Club..that made me chuckle.

Di.x