Thursday, 29 October 2009

Money can't buy me Love


I woke last night and started thinking about things that troubled me.

One was my American friend who, having lived over here for 4 years, has applied for residency. This has involved various tests, submitting both her and her partners' passports, wage slips and countless other pieces of paper and also parting with nearly a thousand quid.

She'd hoped to fly home for Thanksgiving but when she rang the Immigration lot to ask when she might know if her application had been successful, she was told to wait FOURTEEN WEEKS before ringing again. That's nearly four months in which time a) she can't go home as they have her passport, b) she won't see her mother and sister and c) she's wondering whether any day she might be deported. If she is, where would she and her partner go? And what about their beloved animals? If they had to be quarantined, she would find that so so hard.

The other thing that was my youngest brother and his family, whom we saw yesterday (see above - them off to surf). They were staying in North Cornwall for half term but he was unable to take much time off as he has a big tender coming up on Tuesday and needs to prepare for that. So no holidays on holiday.

I love my brothers to bits, but they lead such stressful lives that I thank God we don't have to live like that. Not having children helps, and the fact that neither Himself or I have ever been materialistic or acquisitive.

I was talking to a friend the other night and we discussed the sentences over the Baby P case. One of the men has had his sentence reduced and could be out of prison in three years, and the other is appealing as well. While in other cases, people are getting indefinite sentences for fraud.

Deb and I wondered - since when has money become god, meaning more than lives?

Of course money is essential for bills, mortgages, university fees, accommodation, clothing - well, we all know what it goes on. And a bit more would certainly smooth our path. Money can provide choices: a better education for children; paying bills. Holidays and clothes; boats and houses.

But it certainly can't buy peace of mind. And when you get to a certain age - I'm talking over 50 here - there might come a time when it's possible - or necessary - to rethink life. (Of course if you're happy with it anyway, there's no need.)

I realise I am extremely fortunate: I work hard and have a job I love, even if the pay isn't wonderful. Himself has very little work, but we scrape by, and I am so glad we are able to live the way we do, where we have the time and space to appreciate life.

24 comments:

ChrisH said...

Absolutely with you. Time and time again we receive people here who are completely frazzled and burnt-out because they are trying to keep up with a certain way of doing business. They leave with their batteries recharged only to return to the same life. I'm very glad to have had some time out of that way of doing things.

pinkfairygran said...

I agree with you as well. I think you get to a certain point in your life where you realise the true value of life, and the simple things in it. In my thirties I was out socialising a lot until ill health hit me. These days you couldn't pay me to go out... I appreciate the beauty of where I am more than I would have done say twenty years ago, appreciate too, how lucky I am in many ways.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

It's a disgrace the way our judicial system has gone over the years, every one seems to agree yet nothing gets done about it.

I hope your family troubles right themselves, the stresses of life won't make us happy even if we do earn a lot of money.

CJ xx

Flowerpot said...

Chris - it's a shame isnt it but then they probably look at us and feel sorry for us!

Akelamalu said...

There is no rhyme or reason to how the judicial system in this country works any more - it's a disgrace!

I'm glad to hear you're not stressed FP. x

Debs said...

My ideal is to work from home - in the shed - and write for a living.

Unfortunately, at the moment I need to keep doing what I do to pay the mortgage and school/uni fees. I keep dreaming that one day I'll escape from the rat race, but don't see it happening for a few years yet.

Suzanne Jones said...

I agree there are many more important things than money, but money is a necessary evil. Like Debs I'd love to stay home and write, but this isn't possible at the moment.

You raise a good point regarding jail terms. It makes me so angry that children's lives seem to be less valuable than property. My heart breaks every time I see the photograph of that gorgeous little boy. There seem to be new cases of child abuse in the news every day and it does make me wonder what sort of society we live in.

I really hope your friend hears good news soon and I hope things settle for you brother so you don't need to worry so much.

XX

Amanda said...

I do hope your family sort out their troubles, FP. And what a lovely post. Thankfully, we decided a long time ago that material things don't buy you happiness!

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Ah yes, materialism. I keep meaning to write a post on that! I'm quite sickened by the 'keep up with the Jones'' mentality that I see around me when there are so many living on the bread line. I was part of that grasping culture for many years but it took my parents' deaths together to completely reevaluate my life and to see just how selfish I had become.

We are comfortably off now but we don't take expensive holidays, nor do we buy things because we just want them, only if we truly need them. We don't live a frugal life, we just don't need gadgets and gizmo's to define us as soon as they come on the market. I know so many people who swap perfectly good gadgets for the latest one bacause they crave being the first to have it - silly eejits!

Oh well, here comes the festive season and you can bet that the shops will have a bumper year, recession or no recession! Humbug!

Flowerpot said...

PFG - that sounds a very healthy attitude towards life!

CJ - I think the whole judicial system needs a radical overhaul. But who will do it? Ah, now....

Flowerpot said...

Ak - no it's a great relief!

Debs - of course mortgages etc have to be paid. What I was thinking of was the rate at which some people live and therefore the amount of money that is needed to sustain that way of life.

Flowerpot said...

Suzanne - I wasn't advocating that everyone should chuck up their jobs. Just that some might have a closer look at what they spend their money on after the essentials. It's entirely up to us all how we live - I'm just saying I'm happier being poorer but living a simpler life. But as we dont have children that makes our lives much easier.

Flowerpot said...

Mandy - thanks so do I!

MOB - I think this kind of decision often comes with a certain - cough - age, dare I say it?! I agree about gadgets - it's mind boggling how many there are nowadays. We've only uust got a CD player!

Trubes said...

What a caring and compassionate person you are Flowerpot, your Friends and Family are truly blessed in having you around.
I like your philosophy on life, particularly your headliner....
"Money can't buy me Love".

How true, the lyrics of the song, immortalised by the much loved Beatles were!
Incidentally, have you ever heard Ella Fitzgerald's verson of that song? I'ts cracking....
I feel a bit disloyal by saying , that, Ella's version was even better than The Beatles original.
I,ve been scouring 'YouTube', to find a version of it, sadly without much luck!
Di.x

Flowerpot said...

Trubes - no I've never heard the Ella version - bet it's a corker!

Philipa said...

With you completely, FP. I would rather have peace and security than cash. Although one needs enough to live, obviously. To feed the babies.

Around My Kitchen Table said...

I love my job here in Devon but if I were working in London I could earn three times as much. Even so, I wouldn't change my bucolic life in the West Country for all the nightlife in the Big Smoke. I'm just a country bumpkin!

rosiero said...

Money cannot buy you good health either and without that you cannot really enjoy the other things in life.

Flowerpot said...

Phil - of course. we need to be fed too!

Table - yes I did my stint n the big smoke and at my elderly age am glad to be back in the West Country!

Flowerpot said...

Rosiero - yes good health is another thing not to be taken for granted. Absolutely.

Ellee Seymour said...

Most importantly, you and Himself have each other. That kind of happiness is priceless.

Flowerpot said...

ellee - you are so right!

Tracey said...

Hiya, i just popped by to say hello.. I saw you'd commented on a fellow bloggers blog, so had a nosey at yours..

I had to come and look as i used to live in Cornwall and also have a jack russell called Molly!!!

I hope all goes well for you too xx

Flowerpot said...

Hi Tracey - good to meet you. What a coincidence!!