Friendship

On this last day of 2009 I would like to wish everyone a very happy, healthy and successful 2010.

2009 has been a busy year for me, with a lot more work, progress on the novel front (albeit slow) and the start of a fabulous new choir. I won't dwell on the downside of things, but I hit a very low spot just before Christmas which, as always with me, was caused by a kick in the teeth to my confidence. This pulled me up, made me look at myself and what I'm doing. That's not a bad thing, I find. Being honest with myself is something I find very important.

I woke up early this morning with an easterly wind howling outside the window and snuggled up against Himself and Mollie, and thought about some of the things that had troubled me recently. Two concerned being let down by people. Being oversensitive, I react more strongly to others, I know, and I need to find ways of dealing with that.

But I have some wonderful friends, one of whom I had a long walk with on the Lizard yesterday. We both talked about our troubles, listened to each other and commented where required, comforted where necessary. And as the miles ticked by, and Mollie scampered ahead, oblivious to foolish human troubles, our perspectives changed, settled, normalised.

I liked to imagine our problems blown away by the brisk wind, off towards Porthleven, dashed to smithereens in the fierce waves crashing and pounding off Loe Bar.

I value my friends so much, and am especially happy to have made some very good new ones recently, some through writing, which is even more special.

So to all you friends of mine out there – thank you. I will raise a glass to you all tonight and hope 2010 is a good year for all of us.

Money can't buy me Love

I woke last night and started thinking about things that troubled me.

One was my American friend who, having lived over here for 4 years, has applied for residency. This has involved various tests, submitting both her and her partners' passports, wage slips and countless other pieces of paper and also parting with nearly a thousand quid.

She'd hoped to fly home for Thanksgiving but when she rang the Immigration lot to ask when she might know if her application had been successful, she was told to wait FOURTEEN WEEKS before ringing again. That's nearly four months in which time a) she can't go home as they have her passport, b) she won't see her mother and sister and c) she's wondering whether any day she might be deported. If she is, where would she and her partner go? And what about their beloved animals? If they had to be quarantined, she would find that so so hard.

The other thing that was my youngest brother and his family, whom we saw yesterday (see above - them off to surf). They were staying in North Cornwall for half term but he was unable to take much time off as he has a big tender coming up on Tuesday and needs to prepare for that. So no holidays on holiday.

I love my brothers to bits, but they lead such stressful lives that I thank God we don't have to live like that. Not having children helps, and the fact that neither Himself or I have ever been materialistic or acquisitive.

I was talking to a friend the other night and we discussed the sentences over the Baby P case. One of the men has had his sentence reduced and could be out of prison in three years, and the other is appealing as well. While in other cases, people are getting indefinite sentences for fraud.

Deb and I wondered - since when has money become god, meaning more than lives?

Of course money is essential for bills, mortgages, university fees, accommodation, clothing - well, we all know what it goes on. And a bit more would certainly smooth our path. Money can provide choices: a better education for children; paying bills. Holidays and clothes; boats and houses.

But it certainly can't buy peace of mind. And when you get to a certain age - I'm talking over 50 here - there might come a time when it's possible - or necessary - to rethink life. (Of course if you're happy with it anyway, there's no need.)

I realise I am extremely fortunate: I work hard and have a job I love, even if the pay isn't wonderful. Himself has very little work, but we scrape by, and I am so glad we are able to live the way we do, where we have the time and space to appreciate life.