Wednesday, 31 March 2010

The Lousy Lung Club

(As this blog has been filling up with a lot of work stuff I've decided to open a new blog just for journalism which is here. )

And now for the post itself - Once a month a group of friends and I get together for a meal. It started just over a year ago, when my Swedish friend and I got together with one of my other mates. Then I invited another friend. Then another friend came along: her partner was ill and we thought she might like a bit of company.

That friend lost her partner just over a year ago. We had a meal the night of his funeral – she wasn't there but there was a surreal air to the evening. We drank too much but it was a strangely happy time and I felt blessed to have such good friends.
It was reassuring, like a close family.

More than a year on, I noticed that the dynamics change regularly. One of us who was newly divorced has a new man. For the two who are single, other men have come and gone (in every sense of the word). A new man in the offing for one but of course with Complications.

None of these women knew each other before I introduced them, and as someone who prefers meeting one-to-one, this was quite a new thing for me. I felt out of my comfort zone at first, but each time we meet it gets easier as the talk flows and ebbs like the tide. It's interesting to see how friendship shifts and grows, like a plant putting out feelers, winding round each and every one of us.

Something that three of them have in common is Lousy Lungs. So as Himself has been suffering of late, Nik suggested that he should come along as Honorary Girl. A notion that was loudly approved of by the others, I'm glad to say.

He refused, but the other night his health was discussed at length. I hadn't realised quite how much support we (he and I) have, and I am most profoundly grateful. It means more than I can possibly describe and gives me a warm, snuggly feeling, like an inner duvet, or that old Ready Brek glow.

The friend who lost her partner said to me one day that she has taken his advice and now takes each day at a time. And while I'm worried over Himself's health, I've discovered this is a really good way to try and be. In amidst all the What Ifs that the brain is so good at coming up with, there are moments of intense happiness that I treasure all the more.

So here's to all members of the Lousy Lung Club – of both sexes. What would I do without you?

19 comments:

JJ Beattie said...

Friends are so important. Yours sound lovely.

Sue Kittow said...

Thanks JJ - they are. I'm sure yours are too!

Elaine said...

Whar wonderful friends to have around; they sound amazing.

Love the new blog!

Sue Kittow said...

Oh that's strange. Why am I coming p as Sue Kittow not Flowerpot?!

Sue Kittow said...

Elaine - they are. And glad you like it!

Akelamalu said...

It's great that you have such good friends and get together regularly. :)

Sue Kittow said...

Ak - it's a really nice thing to do. We see each other separately a lot in the week, but it's good to all get together.

Chris Stovell said...

Glad that they're there for you (and you for them, I'm sure). My Ace Gang girls and I share many memories and have supported each other through good and not so good. It used to be babies... now it's Aged Ps!

Colette McCormick said...

What a fantastic idea and what sounds like a great bunch of people.

Sue Kittow said...

Chris - yes we're the same! I love the Ace Gang though - what a great name!

Sue Kittow said...

Colette - they really are a great bunch.

Any idea why I'm still coming up as SK and not Flowerpot, anyone? Most curious...

Philipa said...

Great post, FP and best wishes to himself. Wishing you a very happy Easter x

Crystal Jigsaw said...

I don't have many friends but those I do have are very supportive. We were only talking about this the other day and reflecting on how important it is to meet people. I prefer a one to one also but occasionally have enjoyed a night out with a couple of other friends too.

CJ xx

Flowerpot said...

Phil - thanks and I hope you had a great time too! xx

MarmiteToasty said...

From talking about nappies to wearing them ;) LOL

Love that you have this close group of friends, one certainly finds out who ones true friends are at dire times....

x

Flowerpot said...

CJ - yes I agree. Friends and meeting new ones are a very important part of life.

Flowerpot said...

Marmie - yes, and I know you[ve had enough example of this recently. xxx

欣盈 said...
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Liane Spicer said...

Honorary Girl! That is so funny, in a good way. I hope he knows it was a huge compliment.

My family is great, but I don't know what I'd do without the warm understanding and empathy of my friends.