Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Clever Women?


As it's a rainy, windy day, here's a picture of the gatehouse at Lanhydrock - in summer climes.

I was talking to a friend I haven’t seen for ages last night, and asked about her love life. “I haven’t had a man around for a while,” she said. “I’ve come to the conclusion that men don’t like clever women.”

She is clever, and has a fairly public job, so I can see why some men might not like it if she’s having to do lots of public engagements.

That got me thinking, as a friend described me as clever the other night. I’d always thought of clever people as being very well educated and knowledgeable (neither of which I am), so I did a quick check. According to the dictionary, clever is defined as “mentally bright; having sharp or quick intelligence; able.” So perhaps I am a bit.

But that got me thinking – Pip wasn’t intimidated by bright women as he liked a challenge. In fact, the worst thing he could say about someone was, “she’s not very bright”.

So I asked my other friend how he felt about clever women. “I love them,” he said. “I’m sparked off by clever minds. I like independent women, those I can discuss things with, women who think outside the box.”

I asked him why he thought some men didn’t like bright women. “I think because a lot of men aren’t very clever,” was his surprising reply.

Judging by my male friends, I’ve noticed that those men who feel comfortable with women and are secure enough in their own abilities, don’t feel threatened by able women.

But of course it’s never as simple as that. What do you think?

14 comments:

Akelamalu said...

I think most men like to think they are brighter/cleverer than the women the associate with - makes them feel more macho. Then you have the 'real' men like MWM and Pip. ;)

Flowerpot said...

I agree, Ak. I've noticed a particular friend I meet in the pub sometimes never asks what I'm doing - he's too full of what he's been doing and it's not very interesting!

Talli Roland said...

I love your friend's response!

Hmm. Personally, I'm not attracted to men who do feel the need to be more clever than women. So unattractive.

Flowerpot said...

Talli - no I agree!

Mermaid of Moorgate said...

I think you are right. Many men don't like to feel that the woman they are with could compete. I had a boyfriend who hated the fact that I was funny and could come out with jokes off-the-cuff whereas he would wait for a few minutes to come up with a witty response, cut into the conversation and remind the group of the original statement to which he would respond. If we didn't laugh, he would get into a rage with me and sulk, sometimes for days, because his friends had laughed at me and not at him. Not my fault he wasn't funny.

Flowerpot said...

Mermaid - good to meet you and please call again soon. No not your fault he wasn't funny! I have been fortunate in having relationships with men who do have a sense of humour. They wouldn't last long if they didn't!

ADDY said...

From my own experience and that of my friends I would say that if a man is confident and happy with his own status in life, then he is happy to be with intelligent women. I think that those who are unhappy have a chip on their shoulder and therefore feel intimidated. Both I and my friends had sucessful careers and our other halves were prefectly happy with that, treated us as equals and supported us wholeheartedly.

Flowerpot said...

I agree, Addy. I was surprised by my friend's comments about men. But then men never cease to surprise me!

Melissa Marsh said...

I think some men can be intimidated by clever, smart women, and that is their loss. I think your friend must be dating the wrong kind of men as there are plenty of men out there who do enjoy a clever, intelligent woman. :-)

Maybe your male friend and your female friend should get together as it sounds like they both appreciate intelligence. :)

Deborah (Debs) Carr said...

I think you're right.

I agree that men who enjoy being with clever women are comfortable within themselves and don't feel the need to prove anything.

Flowerpot said...

Melissa - I think she attracts the wwrong kind of men, yes. But no, it wouldn't work - and he's not up for grabs anyway!

Flowerpot said...

Debs - glad we agree!

Crystal Jigsaw said...

I reckon your friend's right!! I think a lot of men feel intimidated by a clever woman because they do feel they know so much more!

CJ x

Flowerpot said...

CJ - and very often they don't.....