Wednesday, 30 January 2008

Household Tips

The Lady Thinker tagged me for a meme about household tips which has had all my friends howling with laughter. They know that I’m the least houseproud person of all.

The sad truth is, I couldn’t think of any household tips at all.

But I couldn’t admit to that, so I’ve been racking my brains and I’ve come up with this.

Always have a roll of kitchen paper, a newspaper and some Dettol spray.

If you happen to be house training a puppy, which we were a few years ago, the newspaper and spray are essential. Don’t use kitchen paper for this.

Newspaper is vital for lighting fires, of course. You can even read it if you feel the need. Why is it that out of date newspapers are much more interesting than current ones? Like other people’s food. Or baked beans from the tin.

Now you know what a real slut I am.

For spillages – of which there seem to be many in this household, use kitchen paper or newspaper depending on the severity.

As for hoovering? My excuse is that I’m too short sighted to see the dust, let alone hoover it up. But I am blessed with a husband who not only knows what the hoover looks like, but knows how to use it.

Thank God for that.

14 comments:

The Rotten Correspondent said...

My household hint would be to marry a slob. That way everything you do looks good in comparison.

Flowerpot said...

rc - that's good thinking. I married one with a conscience, which means that at least the flat doesnt look a complete hovel!

Miss Understood said...

I could give you loads of tips, like rubbing carwax on your sink to stop soap scum, or rubbing a lemon on your bath tiles to make the bathroom smell fresh for ages, or even putting one in the microwave! But quite frankly, they're as boring as hell. The best one is this:

If you spill red wine on the carpet, you can get rid of it with white wine. Apparently, if you drink enough of the white wine, you can't see the stain anymore.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Here's mine: If the dust is thick enough to write your name in, you haven't left it long enough.

Philipa said...

Slut tips: leave half a glass of wine or beer for fruit flies to drown themselves in.

If you get moths in the wardrobe then stick your clothes in bin liners in the freezer and dilute some bleach and wash your wardrobe, then put your clothes back in after a few days.

If you live like a complete slut and your house attracts blue bottles/flies during the summer months than buy an electronic tennis racquet and you can have hours of fun - it's a sport!

If you get mice then don't bother with ANYTHING you can buy from a supermarket. To kill those little suckers you need a cat. If you haven't got a cat then borrow one but you have to have a strong stomach to dispose of the little headless bodies. Cats love the heads for some reason. Eew!

Katherine and Pippa, said...

Household tips? Sit outside in the sun. (Away from the dust and the dogs hairs and the pile of ironing and.. and...)

I'm not even going to try and think of any. Haha.

HelenMH said...

Oh God, I'd have totally had to make them up! I do not do housework!

julia said...

LOL (howling) over The Rotten Correspondent's comment!!!

Flowerpot said...

MissU - I knwe I could rely on you for a good tip!

Flowerpot said...

wakeup - I like it!

Flowerpot said...

Philipa - great slut tips!

Katherine - I'd love to sit in the sun - where is it?!

Helen - glad to meet someone else who doesn't do housework!

Flowerpot said...

Julia - I agree....

Akelamalu said...

My household tip is to get hubby to do everything! :)

Flowerpot said...

Ak - well, I would if I could!