Friday, 13 March 2009

Silver Linings and Kindred Spirits



The world is mud-luscious and puddle-wonderful.
E.E. Cummings, poet (1894-1962)


For the first time in ages I've been able to get back to writing my novel. It's been a strange start to the year, not helped by weeks and weeks of utter exhaustion following my gum infection and having a tooth out. Then I lost two close friends.

For someone who has always had boundless energy, not having any at all is a very spooky experience. Suddenly walking Mollie in the morning was a major undertaking. I had to drag myself up and down the beach for 20 minutes, each step feeling as if I was trying to finish the marathon. And at the end of it I had to go home and collapse.

I saw my GP in the end who smiled when I told him what had happened and said, “No wonder you're tired. You've had the equivalent of being hit by a building. But do a little exercise, or you'll seize up. But do 50% of what you normally do. Don't push yourself.”

So I'm learning to listen to my body. I've had to, so I constantly check myself. Am I getting tired? OK, sit down. Relax. And then this novel idea – I could enjoy myself! Read (if I could stay awake long enough), watch TV. Do normal things that usually I'm too hyper to enjoy.

And you know what? Not only have I read more than I have for months, but I've realised that the time I have had to work has been incredibly productive. I've written more articles in the past few weeks than I ever had. True, I haven't had any time to write either of my books, but you can't do everything, and I realised that it doesn't matter. Without your health you're nothing.

It's also made me appreciate my husband a lot more. Made me stop and enjoy things that I'm normally too busy to take note of. A silent hug. A shared giggle. A robin singing in the garden. A woodpecker hard at work on the trunk of a tree, his red and green colours mesmerising in the morning gloom. Mollie's intent joy digging a hole on the beach.

And finally, I'm getting some energy back. Not much, but every day brings a tiny improvement, like the first signs of spring. And as if to reward me for my unaccustomed patience, I've even met a kindred spirit – as Anne of Green Gables would say. And we all know how important kindred spirits are....

11 comments:

JJ Beattie said...

Very glad to hear you got started on your novel again. That's brilliant.

Flowerpot said...

JJ - wish I hadnt said that. Had another journalistic interruption - an urgent one - so once again novel has to sit back!

wordtryst said...

That's the silver lining in having bad things happen: we appreciate anew all the little things we tend to take for granted. I'm never so happy as right after a bout with the migraine.

So sorry about your losses. As the doctor says, be gentle to yourself.

Debs said...

Glad to hear you're feeling much better and that you're... I've just noticed your reply to JJ that you have journalistic work to do.

Well, at least you now feel you want to carry on with the novel, that's great news.

Akelamalu said...

Sometimes it takes a dose of poor health to make us stop and smell the flowers doesn't it? Glad to hear you're feeling a little better m'dear and that you have used your enforced break from the fast lane productively! :)

MarmiteToasty said...

Im waiting for my spirit to come knocking at me door.... Im totally exhausted by life at the moment......

Glad to here you are slowly getting back on form....

x

Flowerpot said...

Wordtryst - sorry ot hear about your migraines but I can see just what you mean.

Flowerpot said...

Debs - I always want to carry on with the novel - it's just having enough time and energy!

Ak - I hope you're OK too. You sounded a bit down about life.

Flowerpot said...

Marmie - you've had more than your fair share of problems recently so you take care.

Ellee Seymour said...

Take one day at a time Flowerpot. Good luck with your book. I know you have a wonderful husband and I'm sure you appreciate him and he feels well loved.

Flowerpot said...

Thank you so much Ellee. I am and I will!