Friday, 7 September 2007

Jazz, sex and honeymoons

The girls have just called round with a key so I can keep an eye on things while they’re off on their honeymoon.

‘Would you like me to water your plants?’ I said with a sense of what was coming.

‘Oh, please!’ ET said, ‘oh, and do you think you could keep an eye on the overflow from the downstairs bathroom?’

‘And there’s milk in the fridge if you’d like that.’

‘If there are any tomatoes that the slugs don’t eat, please have those.’

‘And some of my dad’s tomatoes in a bag on the kitchen floor.’

‘And a loaf of bread – do you want that?’

‘How about some flowers – we can’t enjoy them, so please have them.’

So I went over and came back, laden, like a camel. Not bad for a bit of plant watering.

Walking Mollie round the castle this morning, I was aware of heavy breathing beside me. I looked at Himself who was walking along with his eyes shut.

Had he got something in his eye? Was he about to have a heart attack? (After his meal last night of salad laden with mayonnaise, new potatoes covered in butter, followed by cheese, I wouldn’t be surprised. He, of course, looked injured when I suggested that such a meal might not be perfectly nutritionally balanced.)

‘Are you all right?’ I said

‘I’m fine,’ he said. ‘It’s jazz.’

Now I know that most of the time we both have music roaring round our heads, but I couldn’t quite make this out. ‘Why do you sing jazz (silently) with your eyes shut?’

‘Because I can hear it better,’ he said. ‘Jazz is all about sex.’

Any the wiser? I’m certainly not.

And I leave you with another quote courtesy of Shelagh.

To see ourselves as others see us is a most salutary gift. Hardly less
important is the capacity to see others as they see themselves.
Aldous Huxley, novelist (1894-1963)


Kerrio said...

Utterly perlplexed!

Flowerpot said...

glad it's not just me, Kerrio!

debio said...

So do we deduce that sex with eyes shut is the way to go, or, if one is having sex with a partner whose eyes are shut he is just listening to jazz in his head?

Would explain much. Or little. Can't decide.

Love the quotation and will ponder its meaning.....

laurie said...

but if jazz is all about sex, how is it possible that i don't much care for jazz?

Flowerpot said...

debio - god knows. I shouldn't read too much into what Himself says. He's not that deep... well, not at that hour of the morning, anyway.

laurie - er, I quite agree. Perhaps it explains why men see sex differently?

Anonymous said...

Amazing, I was just watering my plants on the kitchen window sill when I suddenly thought, "I do hope my mum looks after these plants as well as I have done!"

Is he saying jazz is as good as sex? Better? !!!

Crystal xx

Anonymous said...

Oh and with all this talk of sex I almost forgot, Molly and Sparky send big hugs back to Mollie!!

Crystal xx

the rotten correspondent said...



Flowerpot said...

crystal - I've no idea what he was trying to say. Not sure that it pays to think too much about it either.

correspondent - help? I'm married to him!

Lane Mathias said...

Well now Himself has got tomatoes, bread and milk to look forward to...that should bring on another jazz moment:))

Aoj and The Lurchers said...

I gave up trying to figure out male logic years ago. It made my head hurt and stressed me out!

Flowerpot said...

lane - yes, I hadn't thought of it that way - god help us.

AOL - yes, I agree. Logic doesnt come into it!

Akelamalu said...

Mmmmmm did I miss something here?

Daniele said...

I agree with laurie!
And everyone else who's not entirely getting this.

Flowerpot said...

ak and dee - you think you're missing something? What about me?!!