"I find them very comforting," she said. "I think it's because I realise someone else thinks the same way as me."
Certainly when it comes to dogs we do. All my friends know what a huge part of my life Mollie is. She has been with through so much with me for the last 15 years - shortly after she arrived, Pip was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Moll kept us going then. Later on he was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis. Once again Moll was there. And when he died - well, life would have been so much harder without her.
True, she has a heart murmur and possible arthritis so she's on medication but so far, apart from a few blips, she's been her resilient self. But since lockdown she has really slowed up, and didn't appear to be enjoying her walks much. Which has meant I haven't, either.
To those of you who don't have dogs, a walk alone is completely different. Our four legged friends might not speak (much) but they are such amazing company, and you never feel alone with a dog. OK, she has her maddening habits like eating anything she can get her jaws on, and increasingly wanting to sniff rather than walk, but none of us are perfect. And at least she's never had a habit of running off which must be very worrying.
Anyway, last Thursday I could see she was really struggling, and since then she's made it clear she just didn't want to walk. My vet said don't push her so she has been on a very short walk round the block (5 minutes rather than half an hour) and the hour long afternoon walk is again either 5 minutes or maybe 15. It's heartbreaking, seeing her struggling. And, selfishly, I really miss her striding out exploring with me. Solitary walks are a constant reminder of her absence. A visit to the beach at Helford at the weekend had me in floods of tears as she wasn't there to share it with me for the first time ever.
Today she is a little brighter but it is very hot which isn't good for dogs, particularly older ones, so having had a little walk this morning that will probably be it.
It's not an understatement to say I have been in mourning and I've cried more in the last week than I have for a long time. Our pets occupy such a special part of our hearts, and when you live alone they are even more special. My days are structured round my time out walking with her, and during lockdown this has become increasingly important. She was my only contact at first and the only being I can touch.
So now it's a question of having to accommodate her decreasing energy with my high levels - I have to think of us both. She is having a heart scan tomorrow which will determine the state of her ticker, darling girl. Maybe she will be able to do slightly longer walks, maybe I have to do those without her. We will see....
So think of us both tomorrow, please. And keep fingers crossed....
11 comments:
Oh gosh, I don't have the words. Thinking of you - and sending a virtual hug. xx
O Flowerpot, I am so sorry. I understand entirely what you say. I still to this day miss my dog and it will be 7 years this year since he died. I am often tempted to get another for the company and the excuse to get out for fresh air, but have hesitated because they are a tie and outings aren't possible with a dog that has separation issues, as my dog had, so I am enjoying the freedom. Maybe Mollie is just finding the heat too much and will rally round when it gets cooler. Sending (((hugs))).
We are both thinking of you xx
Ah my dear pote and Mol! Will be thinking of you both loads and hoping Mol gets another reprieve. She’s a darling little dog and so incredibly lucky to have a darling little owner! Big hugs 🤗❤️Xxxx
Oh Sue, I'm in tears writing this as I totally understand how much Mollie means to you. I will be saying prayers and sending special thoughts for you both♥ Take good care, stay safe and well. Linda xx and xxx for Mollie
You might not know that there are a number of pet strollers available for dogs and cats. I found them on the Chewy website and the Dr Smith website.
I haven't bought one because I injured my knee and was in a brace for 15 months and have just started walking outside again.
Dear Sue,
so sorry to hear about Moll. You've both been through so much together and she's always been there when youve needed her. I hope the news from the scan is hopeful.
In many ways dogs are our lifelines aren't they?
They become our ice-breaker, because when you have a dog, you make friends and find yourself talking to complete strangers.
Our therapist /counsellor. They just listen intently, nod in all the right places and never tell your secrets. Then when you've finished , climb up on your lap or as close as they can get and let you know it will be ok and they still love you no matter what!
Personal trainer because you've got to go for a walk when you live with a dog. It's starts off with lots of frequent walk when they're pups, long leisurely walks and even longer hikes during their adult years and then slows down again as they get older,( abit like us really)
It's a bit over a year since I lost Max and I miss my partner in crime. He knew all my secrets , would walk for miles with me when nobody else would and always knew when I needed a hug. When I had my nervous breakdown and ended up on the kitchen floor, he lay down at the side of me until David got home and called the Doctor.
I'm here if you need to chat.
Look after yourself
Kim
Thanks to everyone for your very kind and thoughtful comments. Good news, though sorry you've had to wait so long for it! She's fine..... Addy, I think part of it was the heat, for she is fine now.
Ali - thanks so much. She's not always a darling. I think she's just like that when she wants to impress you!! XXX
Kim - I am so sorry you've had such tough times. I do hope your days are a bit easier now. I've had awful times in the past so can really empathise with what you went through. Take care, FP. XX
So pleased at your news. Glad Moll lives to fight another day. You must be so relieved. Enjoy all those lovely walks. I hope all your other stress is sorted soon.
Hugs to both you and Moll.
Kim
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