Unconditional Love

Those who know me, know that I am easily moved to tears. This is somewhat of an understatement. Pip said once, 'you're the only person I know who can cry at the weather forecast,' but I dispute that.

However, that is another topic worthy of discussion. This morning I saw a piece with Noel Fitzpatrick which was actually a plug for his children's book which has just been published, but it also became a tribute to his dearly beloved dog, Keira, who died not long ago, and their unconditional love.

When Moll was alive, this phrase would always make me laugh, for her love was very conditional. You do as I say and I love you. You don't, and that's it. I will take food from you but it doesn't mean I love you. Don't stare at me, I don't like it. Don't pick me up, I hate it. Don't do this or I'll growl. Don't jiggle me around or I'll bite. Though she did love me, in her own way, but it was very conditional.

Lainy, on the other hand, stares intensely at me with her dark, eyelined eyes. She doesn't blink, though occasionally she winks. I wonder what she's thinking about. She waits for my every move. She doesn't like to be too far from me. She has learned, I hope, that I am trustworthy (unlike many in her troubled past). She does what I ask her to do because she wants to, because she gets food, but also, I think, because she wants to make me happy. She is slowly gaining in confidence. She loves to be admired, to be praised. I'm guessing it's quite a novel experience for her, poor girl. Despite everything that's happened to her, she is trustful, which I find astonishing. She is, like me, an optimist.

Love between humans is usually a much more complex matter. We carry baggage from past relationships. Sacks of hurt that grate, reminding us of the pain like a stone in our boot. Small, but oh, so powerful. We can be wary of letting go, of loving fully in case we are hurt again. Or we can jump into a new relationship, believing it will be like our last. Only to find it isn't. Life can be a game of snakes and ladders.

Shortly after Pip died, I was walking with a friend whose partner had left her for someone else and she was, understandably, devastated. I can remember thinking how much worse her situation was than mine: of course I had lost someone I loved deeply, but he told me how much he loved me every day. My love bucket was full. I had terrible grief to deal with, but it was pure and uncomplicated and full of the love that I'd lost.

When a relationship breaks down, like my friend, we have a Pandora's Box to deal with - betrayal, jealousy, rage, hate, fear, and maybe the belief that we are unloveable. That we will never find anyone else to love again, or who will love us the way we would like, that we are worthy of.

As Noel Fitzpatrick said, dogs allow us to be the best person we can be. We can love them unconditionally, for that is how they love us. If we treat our dogs well, we are the best thing in their lives.

So here's to our dogs. To having the courage to be the best that we can, not just for them, but for us and for those we love. And to the many, many different types of love. This one of Moll was taken on my friend Tony's boat many years ago, but it shows exactly Moll's character and always makes me laugh.

Whereas this is my other girl. A world apart in temperament.