Two steps forward, one step back

Until I had a reactive dog like Lainy I would look at other people whose dogs were barking and lunging and going bonkers and think, as many others do, “Why can’t they control their dog?”

Now, I realise that it’s not that simple.

I was listening to a video by Susan Garrett the other day on this topic which was invaluable. From her I learned that there are four basic reactions to frustration - and we are the same as dogs in this respect. Rage, suppression, persistence or regression (doing what worked the first time we got frustrated).

Imagine you’ve had a really bad week and it comes to Friday, and you’re knackered, have to do the shopping and decide to treat yourself to a nice bottle of wine - or whatever. On the way out, one of the shopping bags slips and your precious much looked forward to bottle (or whatever) smashes on the floor. Your treat lies in a pool of undrinkable wine and shards of glass. Some bright spark comes along and says, “Cheer up love, it may never happen,” and you shout, “It already has!” They sound affronted and say, “Calm down, love,” which actually makes it worse…… and on it goes.

Dogs are the same - if they overreact and we get tense, shout at them, or tug or try and control them, it doesn’t help - they’re flooded with adrenaline so they can’t respond.

It requires patience, training, persistence and lots of love to deal with a reactive being, whether it’s four legged or two. It can be frustrating, bloody hard work and there are times when I could howl with exhaustion. On the other hand, when she gains confidence and becomes more relaxed and doesn’t need to over react, it’s fantastic and makes it all worthwhile.

I love Lainy to bits and she has come so far, but sometimes, as happened last weekend, we had a few incidents and I was beside myself and thought, “Oh GOD, Lainy!”

Talking to my dear friend Av later, she said, “But she’s come so far, you know she has. It’s two steps forward and one step back” and I nearly wept - because she understood.

Other people don’t know about the steps forward, they only see the step back. So next time you see a person, or someone with a dog who’s over reacting, don’t react like I used to do - think of what happens behind the scenes.