Friday, 28 March 2008

Bad Times and Good Times

I am surrounded by friends going through dire times.

A few days ago one friend rang up to apologise for not having been to stay recently. She’s been having problems with her 20 year old daughter who’s developed OCD. She’s now seeing a counsellor which seems to be helping, and her mother has got her hands on as many books on the subject as she can and is now an expert. But she doesn’t like to leave the daughter while she’s so wobbly.

I listened to her anguish down the phone and thought, she doesn’t deserve this. My poor friend who has one trouble after another. But as I can’t make her life any better, I just reissued the invitation and sent my love to both of them.

Another of my friends, one of my dog walking partners, has had a very poorly husband for weeks now. As I write he’s being operated on in London and I haven’t dared ring to ask how things are. She said she’d be in touch so I’m waiting – and hoping – that things are OK. They’ve both been through a lot of bad health recently and they really don’t deserve this recent bout of bad luck.

Then there’s my mate whose father is very ill. She’s dividing her time between Exeter, where her husband works, and here, where her parents are and she is now the kids are home from university on holidays. I can tell by her increasingly desperate emails and phone calls how torn she is. Everyone relies on her for everything, and I worry that she’s going to snap pretty soon.

Lastly there’s my other mate who’s been in hospital having her hip recoated. She’s home now but is being inundated with friends and family coming to Help. Unfortunately she really needs just to rest a lot and isn’t able to do so while all these people are in attendance. (She’s not very good at saying No.) I warned her daughter, who’s a nurse, that she’s supposed to rest every hour and a half and hopefully she will swing into action and get heavy. But I’d hate for the hip operation to go wrong just because she’s not getting enough rest.

So that’s some of my friends. I ring them, email them, lie in bed and worry about them and think how lucky I am.

I’ve got one vigilante husband, one extremely muddy dog from this morning’s walk, a car that we’re hoping will pass its MOT this morning, and bills to pay. But we’re healthy, and we’re happy, which is the main thing.

PS The car failed.


Elaine Denning said...

There's nothing worse - as a friend - than feeling completely powerless, is there? And no amount of you worrying, FP, is going to change anything.

I always think it's the little things which make such a difference to someone's day. A kind word, a phone call, a small gift...that's all you can do.

Hugs to you. x

Flowerpot said...

Thanks for that MissU - you're quite right. The little things do matter.

Deborah Carr (Debs) said...

You sound as if you are a really good friend and are helping just by keeping in contact as you are doing and giving your friends someone to talk to.

Sorry about the car.

Akelamalu said...

It really gets to you when your friends are having a rough time and there's nothing you can do, I know. Still you are there for them and that's good. Glad to hear that all's well at the flowerpot house though - well apart from the car! :(

Flowerpot said...

debs - well I try to be a good mate. Friends matter, I think.

Ak - yes don't mention the car. Himself is furious!

Lane Mathias said...

What awful times your friends are having. Knowing that you and Himself are there for them must be comforting.

Sorry about the car:-(

Anonymous said...

A bugger about the car!

We all have someone who needs us from time to time. You are a good friend and obviously have been well rewarded with good friends too.

Lots of good wishes to those in need.
Crystal xx

Flowerpot said...

Lane - I'm sure life will improve for my friends - well I hope so. But yes shame about the car!

Flowerpot said...

Crystal - thanks for that.

the rotten correspondent said...

That's a terrible feeling. It's so hard to watch friends hurt.

Irene said...

It's always good to count your blessings even when there are dire little things that go wrong. You have to weigh them off against the good things and find out that you are doing alright in the end. Life can be so fickle and you must appreciate the things that go well.

Flowerpot said...

RC - it's not good is it? But hopefully some of them are on the way up.

sweet irene - you're so right. Count your blessings and all that.

Cornish Dreamer said...

An awful time your friends seem to be having at the moment FP. It's not nice when you feel unable to help them, but they're lucky to have you there all the same. RT

Maggie May said...

Being there for a friend in need is the greatest thing you can do for them.
You sound like that kind of friend.

Flowerpot said...

RT - a new picture! Sorry, got distracted by that!

Maggie - I am.

Ellee Seymour said...

Life isn't simple these days. Most people have problems. Glad to hear that you are enjoying life and value what's most important.

Philipa said...

So good you are happy to listen fp, sometimes that's all someone needs, to still be welcome when things go wrong. Glad you and Himself are well and happy :-)

Flowerpot said...

ellee - no life isnt simple but then it never has been, has it?

Hope you are too, P!