Tuesday 1 April 2014

Fogbound

Not that this picture has anything to do with fog, but I took it on a walk with Sally over on the Roseland and loved it.

Over the weekend I started to feel like a boat adrift in fog. Actually, sailing in fog is incredibly dangerous, and I don't mean that I am in danger, more that I had no idea where I was going. I could hear the foghorn, and I knew that my nearest and dearest were nearby, but I sensed that this was something I had to do on my own. And that I wanted to do on my own.

It's all to do with the fact that life has been incredibly unreal for the last month or so, and very slowly bits of normality are seeping through. I am able to walk a little way with Moll. I have some really interesting work coming up, though my energy levels are very low, so I have to allocate short periods of time to a) walk with my Moll - the lovely Emma still takes her out in the afternoons; b) work, c) rest - I tend to crash out in the afternoons when I can and d) see friends.

The down side of having a lot of friends is that it takes a lot of energy to keep up with them all. Last week I realised I just didn’t have that energy, and really felt the need for some time to myself. So the lone sailor has taken himself off to work on the boat and I’m spending time on my own (with Moll) working, reading and sleeping, which is what I desperately need.

Friends ring which is lovely, but meeting is a bit much at the moment. So if I’ve been a bit quiet - bear with me. Do ring, but I need to recover by conserving what little energy I have. Having said that, my brothers are coming down on Friday which will be wonderful, so I need to prepare for that.

I do get frustrated at times, but I’ve finished the antibiotics and on Sunday had a delicious glass of wine and toasted my loved ones. I also had a little walk with Moll on Saturday and Sunday, and the joy on her little face was, I guess, echoed on mine. I’ve really missed our walks together and I know she’s been very confused by the whole process, wondering why I couldn’t come out with her, and why she couldn’t jump all over the bed (not on my stomach!). But on Saturday night she cuddled up to me as she always used to, and lay clamped to my thigh all night. I felt very blessed then.

Having had such a stormy start to the year, I have no idea what lies ahead. But that’s OK. I am fortunate in being well loved and as my dear friend Deb says, “just go with the flow, Sue”.

So here’s another toast. To sailing, to happiness and to going with the flow.


12 comments:

Sally said...

I'm with you on your toast, Sue and send you love for your recovery. We both need to take it slowly and allow ourselves time to recover - but that's so hard when we are both such live wires! In the old days we would both be in a convalescent home - and maybe having a laugh together!
Take care - hope the next chicken dish is as enjoyable as the last. Thanks for sending the dishes back. Sorry I have no cooking or baking energy at the moment!
xoxoxox

Flowerpot said...

Sally - yes it's really difficult isn't it? I do hope you recover very soon - I shall be able to cook for you soon! Much love and take care xxx

Jane Lovering said...

Wishing you a speedy recovery, Sue, but not too fast - there's a lot to be said for letting nature do its work in its own time. I'm sure you'll soon be striding about in the Spring sunshine with no fog in sight!

Flowerpot said...

Jane - many thanks! Sleep is something of a priority at the moment but I can't wait to get walking again!

Rena George said...

I guess even the difficult days are part of your recovery. These last few have forced you to take more rest and allow your body to heal, so that can't be too bad.
I imagine you just want to get out there and do all the things you did before - and you will.
All your friends are rooting for you, Sue. Rx

Flowerpot said...

Rena - you're right,difficult days are very much part of it. I do just want to get out there and do stuff, and I am making progress but I've got a long way to go still. Thanks for your encouragement, Rena!

ADDY said...

You are bound to get ups and downs, but listen to your body. If you feel tired, sleep. If you feel better, take it easy. Real friends will understand and give you room to recover.

Flowerpot said...

Addy - thanks for the advice. I'm trying to do just that!

Kim @ Him, Him Me said...

Take care of yourself and I'm glad that you managed to get out with Mol

Flowerpot said...

Kim - thanks. Feelings tronger every day which is great!

Trubes said...

Hi Sue, just dropping by to see how you are?
You're probably bored off your whatsit after being inactive... never mind you'll soon be sailing and lots of walkies with your Doggie,

Best wishes,
Di, xx

Flowerpot said...

Trubes - no chance of being bored. Work has gone manic! Wish I could sail but not just yet...