The joys of youth

In amongst this somewhat hectic week I’ve at least managed to catch up with a few friends. On Tuesday I hurtled into town to meet one mate in our local café, the Clipper, run by a couple who moved down from London and bought the place with no formal catering experience. She was a TV producer for an ad agency; he designed the intranet for DWP.

It’s a tiny café, with only three tables, so being able to get a seat is often a problem as it’s so popular. Regular customers include students, local shop owners, OAPs, lecturers, tourists, families with small children, people with dogs – in short, everyone.

When I got there Nik had managed to grab a seat and ordered me a coffee (I can never drink things hot), and we ordered our food and sat waiting. They were very busy and I’d already been salivating all morning as I’d interviewed the owners the evening before and had spent the morning writing up the piece that included their best selling favourites.

These included roasted vegetables with chorizo, ditto with houmous, bacon sarnies, home made soup, home made cakes, home made burgers with onion marmalade – and so on. Hungry yet?

Anyway, we sat there while my sugar level dipped, swooped and plummeted. This was when conversation became stilted. I’m unable to focus, let alone think when blood sugar level gets that bad. Then I noticed a young couple opposite engaged in a tongue swallowing contest.

They must have been in their early twenties and not just joined at the hip but at the tongue. Conversation was nil, obviously, as their mouths were otherwise engaged. Now I’m no prude but this was – well, it nearly put me off my food. Never have I seen such animated effort.

When their food did arrive (two huge sarnies on ciabatta), they actually stopped to refuel and ate in near silence. Just the odd whisper in between steady munching. Then it was back to the serious business.

I hope their tongues survive. Just imagine, in years to come, going to the doctor and complaining of a sore mouth.

“Well,” he might say. “It looks like you’ve done some serious damage here. Overly stretched tongue. It won’t shrink back you know.”

Oh for the joys of youth.