Thursday, 14 June 2007

Who on earth would read my food column?

Himself usually does the cooking in our house. This is from self defence, as he's interested in food and I’m not, really. I know most people will fall down in horror at that admission, but it's true. Food is something I have to consume in order to write, to go for long walks, to enjoy life.

Whenever we have friends round for a meal (which isn’t that often), Himself is in charge of the food which means everyone is amply fed (he cooks enough for an army) and there is enough wine for a platoon. Mind you, everyone seems to stay until the small hours, so they evidently enjoy themselves. If I was in charge, there would be a big casserole, jacket spuds followed by cheese and biscuits. (Note minimum amount to cook, can all be prepared in advance.) There's also a good chance that we might not have enough. Worse admission. I have an inability to judge correctly how much people eat. This is something I have inherited from my mother.

When we go shopping and He’s in charge, the trolley is loaded and we spend our entire monthly food budget in one fell swoop and eat baked beans for the rest of the month.

His choice of menu is usually something like this:-
bowls of crisps, peanuts etc to nibble before the meal, oh and dips as well
Main course – Two mammoth cottage pies with several platefuls of vegetables
Large bowl of prawns for vegetarians, plus salad and new potatoes
Pudding – Groaning bowl of trifle and/or ice cream
Cheese and biscuits
Coffee with dishes of smarties and those chocolate matchstick things.
All this is washed down with bottles of wine which, luckily, the guests bring lots of.

I once tried to suggest that the menu could be more balanced, but that fell on deaf ears. And I have to say, most of it usually gets eaten. The men, in particular, dig in until they can’t move.

Last night, Himself was watching Celebrity Masterchef and started chuckling. ‘Why don’t you write a column about food, Flowerpot?’ he said, evidently enjoying the look of horror on my face. For once, I was lost for words. What would I say?


Cornish Dreamer said...

What man doesn't love his food? And what man can successfully keep to a budget when it relates to food!!
My Dad is just the same, they had a lunch/bbq party the other day and Dad was left to buying the meat. He must have bought half a cow and a whole lamb! At least one could say that no one went hungry (& there was plenty of leftovers for us stragglers that came in for dinner!).
I'm sure a food column would be something new from the perspective of food being an energy-source alone.

Jackie Luben said...

A man that does the cooking. Sounds like a great arrangement to me.